Violence Indicators & Staying Safe

Violence Indicators of Lethality When an Abuser Might Kill

The abuser has threatened to kill
Partner has left or the abuser has discovered their partner wants to leave, file for separation or divorce
Weapons are present.
The abuser has easy access to partner or partner's family
A history of prior calls to the police for help
Stalking behavior on the part of the abuser may be an indication of willingness to engage in life-threatening behavior
The abuser has threatened the children
The abuser has threatened to take partner hostage or has held partner hostage
The abuser has killed or mutilated a pet
The abuser has a history of assaultive behavior against others
The abuser has a history of weapon use
The abuser has threatened suicide
The abuser has an alcohol or drug problem

Stay away from the kitchen, or anywhere near weapons
Go to a room with a door or window to escape, or a room with a phone, lock the abuser outside if you can
Call 911 right away
Identify neighbors you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home If a police officer comes, tell what happened; get name and badge number
Get medical help if you are hurt
Take pictures of bruises and injuries

Whether or not you feel able to leave an abuser, there are things you can do to make yourself and your family safer.

Learn where to get help; memorize emergency numbers
Keep a phone in a room you lock from the inside; get a cell phone and program it to 911, keep it with you always
Practice how to get out of your home safely; identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best
Decide and plan where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to ); make arrangements for pets
Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police If the abuser has moved out, change the locks on your doors; get locks on the windows
Get an unlisted phone number; block caller ID; use an answering machine; screen calls, save messages
Pack a bag with important things you would need if you had to leave quickly and put it in a safe place, or give it to a friend or relative to keep for you.

Change your regular travel habits; try to get rides with different people
Shop and bank in a different place
Cancel any bank accounts or credit cards you shared; open new accounts at a different bank
Keep your Personal Protection Order (PPO) and emergency phone numbers with you at all times

Decide who at work you will inform of your situation, this should include office or building security
Provide a picture of the abuser
Don't go to lunch alone If the abuser calls you at work, save the voice mail and email
Ask a security guard to walk you to your car or bus
Use a variety of routes to go home